Be the best that you can be

I’ve been listening to a seminar by Jim Rohn this week which I found on YouTube, and there’s one simple thing that stood out for me more than anything else. 

Jim Rohn looks at a tree and asks the question how tall will it grow? How high will it reach if you let it? The answer of course is as high as it can. Trees don’t grow half way to their potential and stop, they grow as tall as they can, plant their roots as deep as they can and get as many leaves as they can. They will grow to the maximum they possibly can.

Now why as humans don’t we do exactly the same? Why do people often choose to be less than they were designed to be? Why do we settle for being only a part of what we can be? Would you be satisfied if you bought an iPhone but it only let you text and make phone calls on it? That wouldn’t be experiencing the full potential of the phone. So why settle for less than your full potential in life? The icons who have changed and shaped the world over the centuries are people just like you and I who settled for nothing less than being the best they could be. So what might happen if we did the same?

Look at your life and think about the year ahead. What difference would giving your all make? Do you think you think you’d be in a better or worse position than if you only give a part? Challenge yourself. In the next 12 months from today start focusing on doing the best you can. Be as enthusiastic as you can and as generous as you can. Learn as much as you can and smile as much as you can. If you want something in your life work as hard as you can towards it. What will you achieve by being the best YOU that you can?

If you want to listen to seminar by Jim Rohn use the following link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPE3NTrUGfU

£10 million

Imagine if you were given £10 million. How would you feel? There are very few people out there who wouldn’t be thankful for such a gift.

When I think of life I imagine it as being a gift of £10 million, to be used however you wish. But how many people wake up every morning thankful for the £10 million they’ve been given?

What would you do with £10 million?

The Careful
There are some people who appreciate just how incredible a gift £10 million is. So they cherish it, and as a result put it in the bank to keep it ‘safe’. They might occasionally spend some of it, but overall it’s pretty much untouched, but at least they’ve still got their £10 million right?

Some people are the same with life. They realise how important and precious life is and so as a result they’re incredibly cautious. They don’t like to take risks, don’t like to get out of their comfort zone, and as a result don’t necessarily use their life to its full potential. This isn’t to say that they don’t have fantastic lives, as I’m sure many do, but there’s always that little bit more they could have given, or that little bit more potential they could have unleashed.

The Party Animal
There are some people who are somewhat less careful and who may start to use the £10 million very quickly. They might spend it partying, living a lavish lifestyle, buying the best cars, the biggest house and the most expensive holidays. Unlike the person before, they are using their £10 million and they’re using it FAST! And unfortunately, unless you plan on getting given another £10 million (not going to happen I’m afraid), that sort of lifestyle is unsustainable so eventually there’s nothing left.

Some people are the same with life. They might be ‘living their life to the full’ and having a great time, which is awesome, but ultimately they are floating from one high to the next. They are the sort of people who live for immediate gratification and as a result they don’t look and plan for the future. They end up living their life in an unsustainable way and unfortunately they eventually max out.

The Wise
Now in my opinion, the wise would realise how precious a gift of £10 million is and as a result want to use as much of it as possible. But unlike the person before, rather than spend it living an unsustainable lavish lifestyle they decide to invest it. They’re sick of the crappy 3% interest the ‘careful’ person is getting from the banks and decide to invest it in property, business and the stock market and become wealthy as a result.

This is the same with life.

Everybody’s life is their £10 million, so make sure you invest yours. Invest in yourself. Invest in your own self-development and work hard to continuously learn so you can become the best person you can be. Then you can start to unleash your full potential. Invest the time to seek what you’re passionate about, and start ‘inventing a life you love’ rather than just ‘making a living’.

More importantly invest in the lives of others. Offer support, advice, compassion, inspiration friendship and love towards other people. If you can use your life to help make every group of people you come in contact with better, then you will become infinitely ‘wealthier’ as a result.

After all, what can you actually achieve in life without other people? Could you run a business? Start a family? Could you be truly happy? The answer to most people would be a resounding no. There’s very little you can do in life without others. So be grateful for the people you share your life with and seek to make their lives better.

Invest your £10 million and you will become wealthier as a result. Invest your life and you will Make Your Difference. 

Destiny

In life, we are all trying to create our destiny, we’re all looking to build our future.

The other day I noticed the similarity between the word destiny and the word destination. When you travel somewhere you need to know the destination or else you’ll get lost, and you’ll go around in circles. After all, how will you know you’ve got there if you don’t know where it is you are trying to go?

This is exactly the same with life. You need to focus on the destiny that you’re trying to build or you can get caught up with the distractions of life, and you may lose your way from where you are trying to go and what you are trying to achieve. This is a reason why you must set goals.

I decided to take a closer look at the origins of the word destiny. Below is a description I found online about the etymology of the word.

destiny (n.)
mid-14c., from Old French destinée (12c.) "purpose, intent, fate, destiny; that which is destined," noun use of fem. past participle of destiner, from Latin destinare "make firm, establish" (see destination).

As you can see it’s been developed from two words, the old French word destinée meaning ‘purpose, intent or fate’, and the Latin word destinare meaning ‘make firm or establish’.

This is interesting, as I think that these two words that ‘destiny’ derives from are in fact two vital elements in building your own destiny. First of all looking at the French word destinée, it has the meaning ‘purpose’ or ‘fate’. I believe that we all have things which we are completely passionate about, things that get us excited and fulfilled. These make up our purpose, and it’s so important to have the courage to listen to this passion and pursue it in your life.

In 2005 Steve Jobs said:
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary”

The second word was destinare, meaning ‘make firm’ or ‘establish’. You must ‘make firm’ and ‘establish’ what you want to achieve, or else it will be easy to get distracted in your life and caught up with things that you don’t really want to be doing. By establishing a clear goal you can visualise where you are going it helps to ensure that you’re heading in the right direction. Having a vivid image of your goal can help you to make decisions, get you through obstacles and it can reignite your motivation towards what you’re trying to achieve.

Neither of these things on their own will help you create the destiny you want. If you follow your passion but don’t set goals then it’s just like leaving to drive somewhere without taking a map. You will end up going round in circles. However if you set goals that you aren’t passionate about, it’s like you haven’t filled up with fuel and you won’t make it to your destination because you will lose your motivation to do it. Your passion is the fuel that keeps you going!

So to help you reach your destination you have to use a map and fill up with fuel. 

To help you reach your destiny you must remember to make sure you fulfil your passion (destinée) AND set goals to achieve it (destinare)!

Love what you do!

Most of us start our working life in our early twenties and don’t finish it until retirement age at 65 or so. Unfortunately, many people don’t enjoy work. They come and they go, they stay for their 7-8 hour days and wish away their working weeks eagerly anticipating the next weekend. Then when the weekend arrives they enjoy their two days of freedom before the cycle continues once again. That could be up to 45 years you might spend in that same routine doing something you don’t really enjoy.

Let’s put that into perspective. 45 years equates to approximately 10000 days that could be wished away waiting for the next weekend (based on working 5 days a week, 47 weeks of the year). If use the average life expectancy of 80 which is 29200 days, then if you’re not doing something you love that’s over a third of your life you could end up wishing away.

It may be the case that you enjoy the time you spend after you finish work and it’s only the time you spend there that you’re wishing away. So if you look at just your time spent at work in hours, that’s approximately 74000 hours spent wishing time away (35 hours a week, 47 weeks of the year). If you look at the average life expectancy being 698880 hours (80 years), then that’s still over 10% of your time on the Earth you’re wishing away.

Now I’m not denying that some people still manage to live very happy lives even if they don’t enjoy work and that’s fantastic. They are cherishing and savouring the time that they spend each weekend doing the things they enjoy with their families and friends. However, I don’t know about you but the thought of a third or even just 10% of my life being wished away terrifies me. I want to savour ever moment of my life and not spend any part of it wishing it away. Imagine if you could enjoy EVERY moment of your life. Imagine if there wasn’t such a divide between your work-life and your personal life and you enjoyed everything you did. Imagine if you didn’t wish away any precious days of your life but instead took each day and lived every single one to the full.

The truth is, you can do this.

People sometimes get into a job they don’t enjoy because of the money it provides. They feel that because they’re getting a good sum of money that it warrants how much they loathe work. They put up with long, highly-stressful days to look forward to the pay cheque at the end of each month so that it can be spent on the nice house and nice car that they are too stressed to fully appreciate anyway. Make no mistakes I want to be wealthy as much as anybody else does, but true wealth does not come from the money you earn but instead the life that you lead. If you have a large income, this might make you rich but it doesn’t make you wealthy. True wealth is having the time and ability to enjoy your life and most importantly by using your time and money to improve the lives of those around you. Do something you’re passionate about and your personal wealth and financial wealth will follow.

People sometimes get into a job for security. Sometimes in times of difficulty such as redundancy or joblessness it becomes a necessity to do a job you don’t enjoy. I understand this too, and this is a very sensible thing to do because you’re not going to be able to live your life to the full if you are worrying about where your next meal is going to come from or where you’re going to sleep next. They key here is not to settle. By all means take the job to sustain yourself and keep you from living poorly, but never stop searching for your passion. Never settle for a second class life which falls short of the life you want.

Following your passion and finding something you love to do may not be easy but my tip here is to be entrepreneurial. This doesn’t mean you necessarily have to start your own business as this isn’t the desire of everyone, but it means being creative and using your imagination. It means having the confidence to get out your comfort zone and fulfil your passion. It means instead of complaining that there isn’t any opportunities for you to take, you start asking the question “What opportunities can I make?” instead.

At the end of your life when you look back and reflect, do you want to regret the years you’ve wished away? Or do you want to feel a sense of fulfilment for making the most of every single one?

Challenge One

As you read in my last post, I believe that getting out of your comfort zone is absolutely key to success. In order to make your difference you must learn to embrace discomfort. Getting out of your comfort zone doesn’t always require huge steps. You don’t have to get up and do a speech in front of thousands of people or quit your job to start a business to get uncomfortable, there are things that you can do every day to make a start.

So every so often I’ll set you a challenge. Something designed to stretch you a little and to get yourself a little out of your comfort zone. Something that might be just a bit of fun, but that can help you to gradually get used to doing things that make you uncomfortable. If you can master this then I truly believe that you can achieve anything!

So this week’s challenge:

Speak to a stranger.

I’m not necessarily talking going completely crazy and starting an hour long conversation with a stranger (unless it leads to that), just speak to a stranger. In Britain for some reason we generally find ourselves as part of quite an isolated society. Every day we come into contact with hundreds of people, but speak to so little of them. So this week if you’re on the bus, on the train or in a coffee shop strike up a conversation with a stranger. It could be a simple 'Good morning, how are you?' or perhaps if you're feeling particularly patriotic you could do the very British thing of discussing the weather "It's cold today isn't it". Whatever you decide to say, just go for it. It may feel weird at first, but who knows who you could end up chatting to. You may meet a new friend, business contact or even future partner. OR you might get a cold response and a grunted reply. Either way you’ve got yourself out of your comfort zone, and through continually doing that you can build yourself to be capable of anything.

Not only that but I truly believe that by being more sociable and interacting with more people on a daily basis it'll actively help you and those around you feel better. Not only that but it'll help increase your confidence when taking to people in other areas of your life.

Let me know how you get on, leave me a comment below

On a separate note, to hear myself and a few others talk about what it takes to Make Your Difference and to hear our ideas on simple ways to try and make the most out of your life such as “Getting out of your comfort zone” come along to the free event in Southend on April 18^th. Book your tickets at the following address: http://makeyourdifference.eventbrite.co.uk/

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

When was the last time you did something that made you feel a bit uncomfortable? The last time you had to force yourself to do something that you weren’t sure about? When was the last time you really put yourself out of your comfort zone?

My motto for this year has been ‘get out of your comfort zone’, and I can honestly say that by following this piece of advice I’ve already made huge progress this year.

Why get out of your comfort zone?

Think of the people you aspire to be like. Think about the people who inspire you such as Sir Richard Branson, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey and Martin Luther King. They all have at least one thing in common, and that is they weren’t scared to get out of their comfort zone.

Within your comfort zone are the things you are comfortable doing now. The habitual tasks which you’ve embedded as normality and can undertake day to day without any concern. Quite often it’s these things that keep us in the same job, the same position, the same house and the same lifestyle our entire lives. Now these tasks may have once felt out of your comfort zone too. Perhaps in starting your new job you were initially really anxious and had to push yourself before you reached the comfortable position you’re in now. And that’s the beauty of it. The things you aren’t comfortable doing only stay uncomfortable for a certain amount of time. If you embrace discomfort and work hard to beat it, then in no time you will have overcome the task you found uncomfortable and it’s now something you’re comfortable and confident doing.

If you continue to seek to get out of your comfort zone and partake in more and more tasks that let you do just that, then you gradually strengthen yourself and your mind to be capable of anything.

Applying it to your life

In my own life, I use the feeling of discomfort as something to motivate me and drive me to succeed. If ever there’s something I’m not sure about or begin to have self-doubt about I see it as a challenge and strive to achieve it.

Let’s use a few examples from my year. Firstly, one of my goals this year is to be more active, and so as part of that I go running at least twice a week. Now running is an excellent way to get out of your comfort zone, as you quite frequently have to break through the desire to stop or slow down. Usually I get up at 06:30 on a Saturday morning and go for a run, and I remember one Saturday I awoke, looked out of my window to see the dark, cold, sleeting weather outside and a huge temptation came over me to stay in bed and not go running. After all, I’d already been once that week. But as soon as I started to talk myself out of it, I could suddenly hear my motto screaming deep inside of me telling me to embrace discomfort and so I did, I went for my run and in fact ran one of my most fulfilling runs to date.  

Secondly, I’m very passionate about wanting to make my difference in the world and helping inspire others to live their lives to the full and make their difference too. As part of this I set myself a goal to speak at an event by the end of the year about it. I was quite happy to leave this as a goal on the horizon and I was going to focus on completing it at the end of the year. It seemed difficult to do now, and I knew it would make me uncomfortable. But after several sessions with my business coach Dan Kirby (of Coaching Your Success www.coachingyoursuccess.co.uk) and the decision to apply my motto, I decided to get out of my comfort zone and arrange the event much sooner. If you’re living in London/Essex you can attend this free event on 18^th April in Southend to hear myself and two other great speakers discuss what it takes to Make Your Difference. For more information and to book tickets visit www.makeyourdifference.eventbrite.co.uk

Finally, by not being afraid to get out of my comfort zone I’ve created so many more opportunities for myself this year. I’ve not been afraid to put myself out there to speak to people or seize chances that I ordinarily wouldn’t, and as a result I’ve been lucky enough to speak to some fantastic people and have a lot of exciting plans lined up which you’ll hear all about over the next couple of months.

Sometimes if you think about something too long it can fill you with self-doubt where you begin to talk yourself out of doing it. I say get used to saying “yes”. If it’s something you want to do and you’re just unsure if you can do it, THEN DO IT. Because you can do it.

As soon as I start to feel self-doubt and the feeling of discomfort creeping in I think back to the people who inspire me the most such as Sir Richard Branson and imagine him in the same position and wonder if he would let this self-doubt stop him achieving what he wants. Of course he wouldn’t! If he did then Virgin would never have been founded and we wouldn’t know of Mr Branson (as he’d be known). He certainly wouldn’t be changing the world in the way he is today.

If you want to Make Your Difference in the world, you must first learn to embrace discomfort. It is only then that you can focus on your goals and your desires and not be afraid to take the opportunities required to achieve them. It’s only then that you can truly reach your full potential and make the most of every ounce of your being. As humans we have endless potential, and it’s our self-doubt and fear of discomfort that often prevent us from reaching it. So don’t fear discomfort. Embrace it. Make Your Difference! 

An Introduction to 'Make Your Difference'

My name’s Tom Norman and I’m 21 years old. I worked hard at school and college to achieve relatively good grades and finished in 2010 to start working. When I first left college, my desire was to work in London as a stock-broker or trader and live that idyllic ‘corporate life’ that so many crave. I loved the idea of working hard with all the other suited and booted businessmen scurrying across London’s busy streets, working long stressful days and rewarded with large pay-cheques and big bonuses. I started working in a bank and began to study for the qualifications that would be required to get myself into the City.

As the months passed, and the initial novelty of working the 09:00- 17:00 life wore off, I began to get more and more eager to do something better. I looked in even more detail at the job I craved in London, and attempted to motivate myself further by building a tangible image of how I’d feel when I finally achieved it… but it wasn’t working. For me, there was still something missing. I looked deeper and deeper at how my life was and how I wanted it to be. What I found to be missing from my 09:00- 17:00 banking job, and what was missing from this image of my job in the City was the ability for me to really make any considerable difference in the world. Sure I could be the best employee I could be.  I could try and be friendly and liked and provide excellent customer service to add as much value as possible to any institution that I may work in, but I sought more. I want to live my life to the full and use every ounce of me to build change and greatness in my life and the lives of others. Two certainties in life are that we were all born and we will all die, but I want the bit that happens in between to mean something. I want to leave behind something more than just my fingerprints on the Earth.

And that’s exactly what I want to help you to do. I’m starting an initiative called ‘Make Your Difference’, and through this blog I would like to connect with you and help you to seek to make your own difference in the world. You can expect to see posts about my ideas, interviews with people who are ‘making their difference’ and updates on my own life and my pursuit to ‘make my difference’. I will also be regularly posting challenges designed to get you a little out of your comfort zone, because it’s important to remember that to Make Your Difference, you have to start doing things differently. I value your contributions about your own quests to make your difference and I would love to hear exactly what it means to you so please get in touch. You can contact me on:

Email: me@iamtomnorman.co.uk
Twitter: www.twitter.com/iamtomnorman
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/iamtomnorman/